The Ascent of Mount Carmel

To reach satisfaction in all, desire it's possession in nothing. To come to possess all, desire the possession of nothing. To arrive at being all, desire to be nothing. To come to the knowledge of all, desire knowledge of nothing. To come to the pleasure you have not, you must go by a way of no pleasure. To come to the knowledge you have not, you must go by a way of unknowing. To come to the possession you have not, you must go by way of poverty. To come to be what you are not, you must go by a way of non-existence.

St John of the Cross (1542 - 1591)

Ascent and Descent

On this day, in 2005, I stood on top of Àrd-thir Suidhe (Arthur's Seat), in Edinburgh, and left my body.

In the context of the previous two weeks, this was not unusual. Looking back now, I think that I hadn't really been, embodied, properly, since I disembarked from the Tube at King's Cross Station in London. I can tell you that I fell into a swoon, of sorts, in London, a lifetimes' worth of dreaming in books and feeling as though, at a biological level, my body, which seemed so reluctant to embrace the eucalyptus-y humidity of the big Sydney sky with it's allergies and its eczema, was telling me that Australia, really, wasn't my home. Home was closer to the cruddy, ice-crusted streets of Regent's Park, and I had fallen through several layers of reality by the time I was standing up there above Edinburgh.

In the context of my life, this sense of departure from my self perhaps wasn't so unusual, although usually some rational explanation sat comfortingly within reach of my transcendental experiences (whoops, few too many drugs, whoops, really good sex, whoops, forgot to eat. For six months) . A big imagination, and a capacity to join other people in places a rational mind probably never would have embraced on a cold dark morning meant my grasp on reality got (still occasionally gets) somewhat tentative, on a frequent basis.

What was different about Edinburgh was depth and duration. Depth, in that, that night back in the hotel I was wracked with body pains that in my most Crohn's ridden state I had never met. Something was leaving my body. Duration, because I was equivalently 'high' for the rest of my UK jaunt - thank the heavens for Mike who sorta slung me on his back along with his guitar and trekked around York & Northern Ireland, and because this 'high' lasted the rest of summer back home.

And it was serious, and pervasive. The change in the colours of the world, of my oceanic-sense-of-oneness, in the complete inability to be thrown into a pouting state, the engagement with anything that was presenced in my presence. I came home 15kg lighter - there had been no need to eat while I was overseas, I was not in my body. My dear flatmate tried to drag me to the doctor fearing cancer when I got home, my work girlfriends wanted to know what the Posh Spice diet secrets were, my Jungian therapist took me to task about my Messiah complex. I had come home preaching the need to love one another, to help one another, to care for one another. I don't think I was delusional, I wasn't actually raving but, I was not in my body.

I see life in terms of ascent and descent. I can tell you in a nice safe, dualistic fashion that the extent to which I can fly with this kind of experience, is directly offset by the somewhat traumatic experience of the crash back to earth. I can tell you that I don't think this is bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia, or even akin to hysteria, I think it's simply an experience that some people are a tad more predisposed towards than are other people.

There's a psychic life that our culture inspires, but barely supports. There's a child within me that feels as though she speaks with discarnates more fluently than with humans and has done so since she was tiny. There's an echo of a scream of being trapped in a world I never made, in a body that gives itself over so easily to rape, and that stares, in shock, at the sheer violence that humans will impose on other humans, physically, emotionally, politically.

Since Edinburgh, I've been graced with standing further and further back, and being blessed with being able to watch, a little more, my own ascents and descents. What I'd love, is that there was a place for kids to go, where a nurturance existed for a spirit-self, not a bland diagnosis of a complex that does not really fit the pathology. A place where talking about experiences such as the one I've just described doesn't leave the hapless 'tourist' with a fist-full of prescriptions for anti-depressants and a sense that they're (we're) wrong, somehow.

These guys seem to have the germ of the idea:
http://www.spiritualemergence.org.au/

A place where a possible growth, in spirit, is allowed to be, spirited.

God bless the voice within, that, while I was playing with Laurence on the balcony the day after I came home, caused me to look up over the trees behind this block and said 'She's gone'.

God bless the life, ever since, that I step through, moment to moment.

Phantasia - Same But Different

It starts with a comparison between the Christian Orthodox Hesychast, the Theravadin Buddhist and the Hindu Yogi.

And to start with, the parallels look good.

On the cognitive powers of the soul:

- All have one common inner sense behind the five senses, called phantasia, or mano-vijnana, or pratyaksa - the noetic power to make present through one's own presence.

(Phantasia should not to be confused with eikasia, imagination, that is, a dianoetic power to imagine in concrete terms as opposed to abstract concepts.)

- the lowest form of intuition, direct and immediate consciousness is called the nous, the manas, or the buddhi-caitanya. This is the non-conceptual awareness, Tolle's parkbench. Purify it in any of these three traditions, and you get direct access to the Light, direct spiritual perception.

- as the heart of the soul, nous is also the eso anthropos (inner man) in Hesychasm or the purusa, inner person in Hindu or Buddhist terms, and becomes therefore the eso ego (inner 'I' for the Hesychast), asmita (Hindu) or aham (Buddhism). Nous is the self perceiving power, synathesis for the Hesychasts, svaprakasatva for the Hindu & Buddhist that gives the self it's sense of accountability and responsibility to itself (oikeiosis). As outward self-determination, nous is the ruling power (egemonikon) that is the thelein, or will.

- Dianoia is reasoning, a second-hand reflection that is reliant on concepts. Increases in the sun-light of Nous clarify the subject matter of the reflection in the moon of Dianoia.

On development of the soul:

- the fallen man of Christian Orthodoxy looks a lot like the the samsara of Hindu and Buddhist terms.

- the threefold spiritual practices are alike - in Buddhism and Yoga, sila is the training of the will by practice of moral virtue, prajna is the dianoetic training of reasoning and samadhi is the noetic training of non-distraction in pure awareness. In Hesychast terms these are praxis, training the will and the affections of the soul into ethical virtues, sophia, training of the dianoia into virtuous form and hesychia, training of the nous into self lucent and self concentrated wakeful non-distraction.

BUT

Christian Orthodox Hesychasm, Theravadin Buddhism and Hindu Yoga are different because:

in the interpretation of the contra-natural (fallen), natural or supra-natural (uncreated energy) states we see a divergence of the understanding of the purpose of human life.

- In Orthodox Christianity, we seek connection with the supra-natural in order to more effectively engage in the contra-natural, fallen state that we're all in, moment to moment. So we have the Desert Fathers teachings about 'gaining neighbours' ( see earlier post) and Jesus' message to 'love one another'. Or, erm, another way to look at it is the Church is God's ideal polis (I have serious personal allergies to politics in any form, but I'm doin' the therapy for it). Conscience is our innate inward call to become a part of the Body of Christ, with better expression of ethics, or praxis, as the ultimate outcome of the vehicle - then called phronesis, or prudence.

- The two eastern traditions have ethical practice as a preliminary practice to be discarded upon the achievement of the second and third stages, on the way to Theravadin Buddha nature or nirguna Brahmanof Yoga. The point of non-harm, ahisma, is a little more oriented towards getting free of entanglements and desires, free of the concerns of samsara.

Western theology pretty much turns that notion on it's head. Dianoia and nous together are the virtue of theoria, contemplation. Sophia becomes the wisdom of knowing the intrapersonal perfection of a skilled participation in an interpersonal communion - perfectly fulfilled agape. Gnosis is the direct, unique, singular (simplex intuitiva) intimate personal familiarity of self, 'gnosis' with all the connotations of Adam 'knowing' Eve in the Genesis. Through phronesis and sophia, but mostly through agape (syneidesis, perfection of conscience), gnosis is born.

The entire substance of the Christian life, then, can be summarised as the Trinity, as the notion that prayer is perfectable, personal, relationship. Our relationship to God is contingent on our relationship with others.

The Jesus prayer of the Hesychast is therefore not a mantra. The Jesus prayer works only when it is conducted within the ethical askesis of participation in the life of the Church. It's point is to awaken us to deeper more responsive interaction with others within the Communion of the Saints. In this day and age, perhaps there's no need to be too fussy about the lines that are drawn between Ekklesias (and not only because politics as a notion makes me kind of want to throw up). Education and awareness through technology ground us in the sociological knowledge that we are connected to the entirety of humanity as we inhabit the globe, and indeed, we're connected to the globe Herself. Prayer because, and entirely because, we're human, sounds good enough as a principle to start from for me.

from: Dr. Thomas Mether, http://strannik.com/watchful_gate/node/13

"Byzantine" Prayer

Serene Light, shining in the

Ground of my being,

Draw me to yourself,

Draw me past the snares of the senses,

Out of the mazes of my mind,

Free me from symbols, from words

That I may discover

The Signified

The Word Unspoken

In the darkness

That veils the ground of my being.

From Fr William Meninger, Centering Prayer, 12th Nov 2008

God's Grandeur

The world is charged with the grandeur of God.
It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;
It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil
Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?
Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is seared with trade; Bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man's smudge and shares man's smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

Gerald Manley Hopkins, Victorian Jesuit priest

My secret? Squeeze as much happiness as you can into every single day, my girl. You never know when your number's going to be up!

Daphne Deitz, war widow, 100 years old, in response to my cliched question and to the mirth of the rest of the party at the lunch table.

Angelus

Apostolic Exhortation Marialis Cultus -
For the Right Ordering and Development of Devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary.

from: http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/paul_vi/apost_exhortations/documents/hf_p-vi_exh_19740202_marialis-cultus_en.html

The Angelus

41. What we have to say about the Angelus is meant to be only a simple but earnest exhortation to continue its traditional recitation wherever and whenever possible. The Angelus does not need to be revised, because of its simple structure, its biblical character, its historical origin which links it to the prayer for peace and safety, and its quasi-liturgical rhythm which sanctifies different moments during the day, and because it reminds us of the Paschal Mystery, in which recalling the Incarnation of the Son of God we pray that we may be led "through his passion and cross to the glory of his resurrection."(109) These factors ensure that the Angelus despite the passing of centuries retains an unaltered value and an intact freshness. It is true that certain customs traditionally linked with the recitation of the Angelus have disappeared or can continue only with difficulty in modern life. But these are marginal elements. The value of contemplation on the mystery of the Incarnation of the Word, of the greeting to the Virgin, and of recourse to her merciful intercession remains unchanged. And despite the changed conditions of the times, for the majority of people there remain unaltered the characteristic periods of the day-morning, noon and evening-which mark the periods of their activity and constitute an invitation to pause in prayer.

V. Angelus Domini nuntiavit Mariæ.
R. Et concepit de Spiritu Sancto.

Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Iesus.
Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc et in hora mortis nostræ. Amen.

V. Ecce Ancilla Domini.
R. Fiat mihi secundum Verbum tuum.

Ave Maria...

V. Et Verbum caro factum est.
R. Et habitavit in nobis.

Ave Maria...

V. Ora pro nobis, Sancta Dei Genetrix.
R. Ut digni efficiamur promissionibus Christi.

Oremus: Gratiam tuam quæsumus, Domine, mentibus nostris infunde; ut qui, angelo nuntiante, Christi Filii tui Incarnationem cognovimus, per passionem eius et crucem, ad resurrectionis gloriam perducamur.
Per eundem Christum Dominum nostrum. Amen.

V. The Angel of the Lord declared unto Mary.

R. And she conceived of the Holy Spirit.

Hail Mary...

V. Behold the handmaid of the Lord.

R. Be it done unto me according to thy word.

Hail Mary...

V. And the Word was made Flesh.

R. And dwelt among us.

Hail Mary...

V. Pray for us, O holy Mother of God.

R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray:

Pour forth we beseech Thee, O Lord, Thy grace into our hearts, that we, to whom the Incarnation of Christ Thy Son was made known by the message of an angel, may by His Passion and Cross be brought to the glory of His Resurrection. Through the same Christ Our Lord. Amen.

The custom for the Angelus in monasteries and convents holds it said at 6am, noon, and 6pm. I'd like to try this, for a week, just a week, and see how I do.

Thanks to Father Michael de Stoop for leading me to this trail of breadcrumbs, and for the St Teresa of Avila quote for today:

"The soul of the just man is nothing but a paradise, in which, as God tells us, He takes His delight."

Epinoia

"And they brought him (Adam) into the shadow of death, in order that they might form again from earth and water and fire and the spirit which originates in matter, which is the ignorance of darkness and desire, and their counterfeit spirit. This is the tomb of the newly-formed body with which the robbers had clothed the man, the bond of forgetfulness; and he became a mortal man. This is the first one who came down, and the first separation. But the Epinoia of the light which was in him, she is the one who was to awaken his thinking."

from 'The Secret Book of John'

Epinoia - a Greek name, with one possible interpretation being 'inventive consciousness', specifically, inventive consciousness that points towards spiritual truth.

In my latest philosophy essay, we're questioning the extent to which free will and determinism are compatible, incompatible, are co-evolutionary or, should never have met on the dark street corner of a Fourier transformation.

To attribute the moral responsibility that is the lapdog of free will to human beings, we need to stop shy of an injunction that requires that we 'self create' on a moment-to-moment basis, and look to a deep self that has developed, over time, in response to the social and cultural environment. In short, regardless of my predisposition towards an episodic perspective, I can see (and I happily utilise whenever it suits purpose) a narrative self, a self can almost be defined in terms of component particle mechanics, if we take a historical view of development to date. There is a self that can be defined by initial conditions (for example birth) , by an equation of motion (cognitive development), and by the present, which is the boundary condition (a university student, struggling to make head or tails of metaphysics).

And while Bertrand Russell does a whizz bang job of pointing out that there exist an infinite number of other possible equations of motion that represent courses of motion forsaken by me throughout that history (implying that there too exists an infinite number of paths through the Now that my being-ness could represent in the future) I like that in this present moment, with this dazzling range of possibilities, I have Epinoia, 'inventive consciousness', available for my reflexive response, right now.

She seems to be a sort of wake up call to spiritual truth, that for my thinking, is inextricable from moral responsibility. A second order sanity check on any of the first order actions I could engender in the bright, luminous and ever sparkly world.

Epinoia. Not just 'cos it's a really pretty name.

Ref: http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/freewill/