A Long Standing Obsession - Two Ways

I've been studying erotic plasticity of the female sex drive - that is, the way that female behaviour might be more sharply shaped by cultural and social cues than male behaviour actually is. I'm not talking about old fashioned submissive and subordinate housewife roles, moreso a predisposition originally grounded in biology, but extended into our distal selves, a predisposition grounded on the notion that the Other comes first.

Distal self might need defining - 'distal self''  is a term coming from a theory called the construal level theory, that says that at any one time we have at least two models of the self active and available in our psyche - the proximal self, the self that is present right now and experiencing through the senses, and a distal self, which contains the experiences of the self through time - our memories, our future projections, and our emotional and imaginal selves live in the distal self.

The line 'You made me a thief of your heart' echoes over and over in my head as I read this literature. Distal self, here you be shaped.

Obsessed with Sinead because she's fiery and beautiful and feminine. Obsessed with connection to the Other, and beset by a world from which the description emerges that this here equates with co-dependence.

I still, still, don't get it.

Obstinate? Ignorant? Pathological? Must be.